Despite having named this blog over a year ago (jeez, it’s been going this long?), I have never actually given you a list of the perks of being hair free. Well, as much for my enjoyment as yours (this was great fun to write), here is a list of 15 perks. There are more out there, but 15 was a good number. Let us begin your tutorial on the perks of being a bald girl…
- Saving on shaving
I save so much time and money by not having to shave. I mean, who really has the time to shave their legs every day or two (you gals have my pity). Just for it to come back all stubbly in a matter of hours? No thanks. Also, a cheap packet of razors isn’t exactly going to break the bank, but anyone knows that I would much rather spend that 97p on food.
- The never ending search for bobby pins/hair ties
Never will we feel the pain of having hair in our eyes because we couldn’t find that last sacred bobby pin to hold back that fringe.
- Hair. EVERYWHERE.
It’s on your pillow, in your shower, all over your carpet. In your pockets, stuck in a sleeve, caught on your bag. On your desk, in your car, in your kitchen, maybe you’ve even found one in your food (eww). Hair goes everywhere. And no amount of lint rollers will stop it.
- Sleep or shower?
The struggle of those who like their sleep – is there enough time to have a shower in the morning? Having to wash your hair must take so much time. And then you have to think about drying it. That takes forever! 2 minute showers are actually a possibility when bald (10/10 would recommend on laziness levels).
- Bikini body ready from diagnosis
Is your body summer ready? Thankfully, with alopecia on my side, there’s no need to think about a bikini wax (thank god) as there’s nothing down there.
- Eyebrows on fleek
There’s no excuse to not having flawless brows when you are literally stencilling them on your face.
- Your skull can breathe
Long hair in the summer? You poor child, change your life choices. That inbuilt radiator called your hair is not your friend in the heat – tangles, sweat, boiling hot head? Not worth it, mate.
- What bad hair day?
Again, there is no excuse for having a bad hair day here. Mainly because what hair is there to go badly?
- Many regrets
Remember that really bad haircut or hair colour choice you made in a teen phase? Those photos will haunt you forever, my friends. I on the other hand, have avoided it entirely. Probably wouldn’t have suited purple hair anyway.
- A little bit windy
Car rides with the windows down may sound like fun. Until your hair is flapping around everywhere, in your mouth, in your eyes, blinding or choking you, possibly both. Another thing on the ‘cannot relate to’ list for baldy here.
- Not suffocating your partner in crime
Spooning is fun. Until your hair reminds you both that it exists. I believe that poor person behind you would like to breathe at some point, possibly without your hair blocking their airways. Hair ties, people (but oh wait, can’t you never find those anyway? Never mind then).
- Snips and bubbles
That dent in your bank account caused by your regular trip to the hair salon must hurt. A lot. Almost as much as saying goodbye to all that hair when you just asked to trim the split ends. And just to add insult to injury, shampoo and conditioner and other hair products – so expensive! Think of all the food you could buy!
- Dodgy haircuts forever avoided
Speaking of those salon trips, you’ve all had at least one trip that was not worth your hard earned cash, in the evilest ways. That block fringe the hairdresser gave you when you asked for a swishy side fringe got pinned back instantly, didn’t it? Well, as soon as you could locate a bobby pin, anyway.
- Ever got your hair caught in a tree branch? Not me
I can’t even begin to imagine your pain. I apologise on behalf of all trees and shrubbery that have tested the limit of your patience when you’ve got tangled.
- Blonde bob to brunette beach waves
Now, I know I said this was a wig-free edition, but this point is by far the best perk out there. Flexibility of hair styles. I can have short hair one day, long waves the next, or just wing it and go bald. Such freedom with styles and colours, just depending on how I feel on the day. You never have to wait for that awful hair cut to grow out because you just don’t get the wig that doesn’t suit, or change it up and wear a different one.